No Fear

We were talking the other night about our principles. Are we living our lives guided by our principles? Or are they sort of an abstract higher purpose, waiting for a convenient time? If you look at me, I'm working in medical transcription. Working for mainstream medicine, when I'm so painfully aware of the cold and clinical problems they create so they can solve them in the realm of childbirth. BUT, the work I am doing is in medical oncology, psychiatry and drug rehab, neurology, specialties that are doing good things to help relieve real suffering and improve quality of life. Add to this, my primary principle is toward my family. This job allows me to adapt to them, to be here for them. This job also is flexible enough to fill in the gaps while I pursue my dreams and my purpose.

When I started along this road, the idea was to become a midwife. To help women give birth in peace, in trust, in faith, conquering fears and supporting families. As a step along the way, I have stepped into doula work. Which has opened my eyes even more to the vast depth of fear mongering that goes on, manipulating birthing women with fear. The term "birth rape" gets thrown around a bit, and many think it goes too far. Too overly dramatic. But let's look at what happens... A woman, vulnerable and exposed, is intimidated by a person in power, a physician. She says no, physician does it anyway. Or worse, she says no, and physician says "if you don't do it, your baby will die" Is this much different from a rapist? Consent! Or something bad could happen to your children! For her own good, she needs it, she wants it she just doesn't know she wants it. She's a woman, no means yes. Her power is taken from her.

In the case of teen moms, it's often worse. Having a doula can help. Not just during labor in a hospital, but in the months and weeks leading up to the birth. Having a tour guide, an assistant to help you find the information you need to make your own decisions. Having someone support you and encourage you to listen to your intuition and trust it.

But it occurs to me as I wander about the local birthing community as a new doula. Most doulas view their job as a very important one, supporting a familiy in a very vital time of transition in their lives. But, it also seems to be somewhat elitist. Sure, many are willing to offer their services on a sliding scale, if a client expresses that need. But few are going out of their way to seek out women who cannot pay. It's not good business sense. Or is it?

The women who need doula assistance most, are those who are most unable to pay. They are also very likely to have never even HEARD of a doula. And why would they? It would be akin to thinking of hiring a nanny. Not a part of their reality. An extra, unnecessary expense. I kept hearing that if a woman thinks it's important enough, she'll find the money. But the women I am talking about are often on Welfare, or living in shelters. There is no extra to cut back on so they can save. Do we just abandon them to the medical system? They way they feel abandoned in so many other ways? Having an empowered childbirth experience could really be powerful enough to change the course of the lives of many. Encouraging bonding and faith.

Of course, my logical side questions pursuing this direction of actually actively looking for clients who cannot pay. Does this make good business sense? My hope and thinking on this, is that clients who CAN pay, will choose to use the services of a Doula who offers these services to moms who can't. That they will feel GOOD knowing that part of their fee helps to pay for doula services for another mom's birth as well as their own.

High quality, professional, dedicated doula services, comparable cost to other services, BUT with Willow Birth, a portion of your fee helps fund doula services for moms/families who otherwise would not be able to afford it. Seems like this could work in the realms of midwifery care and birth center services as well.

I think I have to take my own advice here, and proceed with an attitude of assumption of abundance. There is enough to go around, and part of my path it seems, is to help some of it get around.